Kids love Greens

vegiThe idea that kids don’t like their greens is a myth. Naturally, kids love fruits and vegetables, we, parents, teach them to love meat and despise the foods that are beneficial for their bodies. Fruits and vegetables have everything that the kids need to grow healthily: vitamins, minerals, amino acids (building blocks of protein), enzymes, and fatty acids (healthy fats). Furthermore, they don’t have the toxins that processed foods and meat have. Let’s make a little comparison between an organic carrot vs. a donut.

 

Nutrients Organic carrot Donut
Glucose
Amino acids 1/32
Fatty acids X
Enzymes X
Vitamins and mineral X
Water 1/20
Toxins (not a nutrient) X

Source: An Incredible Diet, Healthy from Inside Out video series. Drs. Davis Rudy and Jeanie. https://amazingdiscoveries.tv/media/1364/331-an-incredible-diet/

You, fathers, need to understand that when you give your kids donuts and other foods that are alike, you are only feeding them sugar mixed with saturated fat (bad fat). Some of you are probably saying, “it’s not me; it’s their mother.” Well, you are the man, right? Start by setting the example; choose your foods wisely, and with love and patience, you will win them over.

______________________________________________________________

me

Serge Destin, author

Co-founder of the League of Extraordinary Dads

 

 

He Was Dying Of Cancer

dyingalone

One of my patients was dying of cancer. He was a kind gentleman -we’ll call him John- who came to our nursing home after spending over a month in the hospital where he received a diagnosis of lung cancer. He was a little bit less than 60 years old and was living alone in a trailer. Because of legal issues, he lost his trailer and became homeless. He was at a friend’s house for a couple of weeks who offered him asylum when he fell ill and had to be rushed to the emergency room. He came to our facility in the hope of overcoming his deadly disease. Truth be told, John was doing pretty good when he came and barely look like a patient. He was full of energy, walking around and going out with the lone friend who would visit him. About five months later, after many rounds of chemotherapy and radiation, it became apparent that treatments were ineffective and the cancer was spreading. John couldn’t eat anymore; he lost a lot of pounds quickly. He couldn’t walk and barely had enough energy to talk. He was released from cancer treatment and given a couple of months to live.
About two weeks later, a Friday afternoon, John’s children, grand-children, some nieces, and nephews invaded the facility. They came in an RV, parked in the facility’s parking lot, and spent the weekend with him. Ten days later, he passed away. All these months, we didn’t even know he had children. Is this how children should honor their father?

_____________________________________________________________

me

Serge Destin,

Author of From Man To Dad

Co-founder of the League Of Extraordinary Dads

Am I a Mature Father?

pexels-photo-101584One of the main reasons men are having kids who aren’t expected is immaturity. Most people think that maturity comes with age. Physical maturity does, but not necessarily mental maturity. Who hasn’t seen 30, 40, 50 year old men acting like 12 year old boys? I was working at a health facility where this 55 year old male patient was having a temper tantrum because his TV wasn’t working. That was his first night in our facility and he was there to recover from a knee replacement surgery. He was screaming, yelling, throwing objects including medical equipment to the ground. Every staff member working on that recovery floor, including me, tried to calm him down and explained to him that it’s 1 A.M. and that his TV issue will be addressed during normal office hours. All attempts were unsuccessful and he had no regard for the other patients trying to sleep. Finally, he called his wife to complain and the poor lady had to come to the facility at 3 A.M. to be with him. She had to spend to rest of the night next to him in a chair while this man slept soundly in his comfortable bed.

Another misconception about maturity is that if you are no longer living with your Mom and Dad that means you are mature. Many young men are release or escape from parental care too early. In our society, we wrongly believe that a young man should be on his own by 18 year old. However, we forget that people mature at different pace. Many leave home with no plans, no projects, no means of subsistence. The most honest ones spend their days hustling and bustling at low paying jobs. The lazy ones chase women all day hooking up with them and causing untold amount of pregnancies. The most desperate join gangs and/or get hooked  on drugs, alcohol, and bring some of the sickest and most abused children in the world.

So what is maturity? A simple definition: reason over passion. Passion is what excite or make you feel good when doing or using it regardless of the consequences. Children are controlled by their passion; they do things because they feel good while doing it.

Reason on the other hand is doing things based on whether they are good or bad, moral or immoral, or whether the consequences would be beneficial or disastrous. As children grow up, they learn to develop reason through learning and experience to keep their passion in check.

The big issue is that we are living in a society that teaches its people to let loose and let their passions go wild. Reason is downplayed and we have a multitudes of adults and young adults who do things without thinking about the consequences. Thus we end up with grown men who are passionate about sex but could care less about the kids who are  born as a result. Beware of your actions, the consequences can be devastating for others.

Fatherhood, Is It For Me?

Since we were boys we knew that we would have children one day. Our parents expected that from us. In fact, the environment we were raised in a whole expected it. However, we seldom ask ourselves, “Do I want to have chilboy-477010_1920dren?” let’s put it this way. Suppose you have all the skills you need to perform a certain job, would it make a difference if you are doing this job because you “have to” or because you “want to” ? When you “have to” do something, you are not usually happy or excited  about it, you just want to get it over with. You also tend to do just the minimum required to satisfy those who put this burden on you with the hope they will leave you alone when it’s done. However, when you “want to” do something, you become passionate about it. You tend to go above and beyond to get the best possible result.

Becoming a father because you are pressured by your spouse and/or relatives, or because you believe that it is your duty in life since you are a man, is different from wanting to be a father. This will inevitably show in the way you treat and raise your children. Some fathers see their children as a burden, a hindrance to their careers, to fun, and to their goals. They avoid getting involved in their children’s lives as much as possible, sometimes without realizing it. They get the minimum done to appease their conscience, but they have no joy accomplishing their duties. Some go  as far as blaming their partners for tying them up with children and turn their backs on them. What they don’t realized is that kids can sense when they are unwanted. This can ruin a child’s life and result in delinquency, violent behaviors, drugs, and alcohol abuse.

Here are a few statistics from the National Fatherhood Initiative and the National Center for Fathering:

  • Individuals from father absent homes are 279% more likely to carry guns and deal drugs than peers living with their fathers.
  • Children born to single mothers show higher levels of aggressive behavior than children born to married mothers.
  • Teens without fathers are twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity and seven times more likely to get pregnant as an adolescent. They are 9 times more likely to be raped or sexually abused in a home without a biological father.
  • Teens without fathers are 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances. 71% Of all adolescent substance abusers come from a fatherless home
  • 80% of adolescents in psychiatric hospitals come from fatherless homes. They are twice more likely to commit suicide.

It’s important for men to take a good look at themselves and sincerely answer the question, “Do I want to be a dad?’ This will impact greatly their performance as fathers as well as the future of their children.

If the answer is no, have an honest discussion with your partner and your family so that they know where you stand. That’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s better not to take the job than to accept it and do it poorly. The consequences can be devastating not just for you and your family but for the society as a whole.

Source:

http://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistics-2016?

http://www.fathers.com/statistics-and-research/the-consequences-of-fatherlessness/2/

http://fathers.com/wp39/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/fatherlessInfographic.pdf

__________________________________________________________________me_

Serge Destin

Co-founder of the League of Extraordinary Dads