I’ve never met a man who wasn’t a good dad. Yep. You read it right. As I walk down the streets of different cities in America talking to random men about fatherhood, the conclusion is always something like this “I am a good dad,” “I take care of my own,” “They have everything they need.” If that’s the case, I wonder (and you are probably wondering too) why are so many teenagers angry at their dads? Why do so many young adults despise their dads? The anger against fathers is real and terrible. In the “Correct Spelling of Father” modern poet Marshall Davis Jones states,
You ask me to spell father;
where I am from,
in my life father is,
and always has been,
and always will be spelled M-O-T-H-E-R. (view full poem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZOgOcauDds )
In this poem, he expressed how his mother stepped in to fulfill the role of his absentee father throughout his life. Although it is a well deserved homage to his amazing mother, we can feel the pain, frustration, anger, and struggle that trouble the life of this young man. Millions of young men and women are in similar situation today and feel the same way as he does.
Amazingly enough most men do recognize that fatherhood is in crisis; however, they believe that the issue is with the dad next door. That is until the wisdom that come with age and experience open their eyes to their mistakes, errors, ignorance, and foolishness. But by then it’s late in the game and for some too late. Their children are adults who despise them and blame them for their misfortunes. These dads in turn tried desperately to correct and counsel their adult children only to meet rejection and alienation, “when I needed you, you weren’t there. I don’t need you now.”
We all as fathers need to step up our game. We need to be the provider, counselor, guide, boundary setter, law enforcer, playmate, and spiritual leader that our kids need right now… before it’s too late.
Co-founder of the League of Extraordinary Dads, LLC